Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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