You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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