omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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