So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
