i just had sex bonerless
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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