dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
