I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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