you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
