I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
