Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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