So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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