what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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