Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
