Duck Duck Cougar?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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