in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
