So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
