What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize