Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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