I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
