idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
