why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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