btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
