i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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