I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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