Already got asked if we're dating
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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