she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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