maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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