i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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