Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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