And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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