gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
