I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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