Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the condom got lost in my hair
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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