I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
