I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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