i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
