She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
