similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize