You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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