Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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