The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
