I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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