Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
