i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm always down for nudity.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
