If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
