I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize