your thong is hanging out like whoa
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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