Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
