Betty ford says i'm here all night
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
