my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's the barista slut.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
