Wow word travels fast.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday