Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.