well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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