great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
