btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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