I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
