1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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