My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
