btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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