pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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