girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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