Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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