Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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