if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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